Another Anniversary

Posted on: April 23, 2016
Tags: Anniversary

What a beautiful day the Lord has made. It's a sunny morning, the birds are singing. It's our anniversary. 14 years. I wish you were here to celebrate with me. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you.  I never thought that I would be in this place. It's so different than what I had imagined or planned for us. I have more good days now than bad, and I still feel like I'm on the that roller coaster, but I'm hanging on. The ups, downs, swerves and curves are not as scary. I often feel joy, and that makes me feel guilty. I feel guilty that I'm alive and you're not. I ask myself, "Why not me? Why couldn't it have been me that day?" If I could change it...but I can't. There's this voice that says, "It's ok to let go". I'm not sure I want to listen to it. I'm not sure that I'm ready to let go, but I am sure that I need to move forward.

I promise I'm not leaving you behind. I'm moving forward and I'm taking you along this journey. The Caston Epic Adventure. You are going to ride along and you don't have to do anything, but enjoy it. You're going to go with me and it's going to be epic. You're going to see me grow into the person that God intended me to be, and you get to sit back and watch. I hope that you will enjoy the journey and the woman that I'm becoming, because baby you play a big part in that. I wouldn't be where I am without you and the sacrifice you made.

I can be thankful for all of the blessings that the Lord has given me since you left us. Thankful for you, the choices you made and the impact you had on my life and the lives of so many. I vow to always love you, nothing will ever change that. Thank you William. Happy Anniversary!